Thursday, September 30, 2010

Cosmetic Brain Surgery...I Thought Of It First!

There is violence in The Congo. Ashley Judd wants to believe it is caused by The Smarty Phones. She also wants to believe that someday they will have cosmetic brain surgery, and then she can be as smart as she is pretty. I haven't decided if I want to break the news to her or not.

In a featured article on the CNN website, Ashley Judd and John Prendergast go to some links (Yes, welcome to the 3D age) to dramatize the brutal gang rape of Kika, a local Mother Theresa type, by the local militia. It also details how when her brother tried to intervene, they first tried to make him rape her as well, and when he refused, they stabbed him to death.

Even though it sounds like the opening five minutes of a Sylvester Stallone movie, it doesn't change that it is definitely on the more gruesome side of human interactions. It also doesn't change the severity of it.

However, where Ashley jumps the fence and flies off to Alpha Centauri, is when she then blames this behavior on Electronics. Apparently, these evil militia types are being funded and given their power over this region by all of the money they are making from mining rare minerals which are used in electronic components.

So the issue isn't that one human being would behave this way and commit atrocities on another human being. It isn't that people who would act in such a fashion would do so over a doughnut (Bran Muffins probably aren't appealing enough). They only do it because they can mine rare minerals and sell them to Intel.

Wow, this really is starting to sound more and more like a Sylvester Stallone movie, but I'll be nice to Sly and say Van Damme.

So we can't be as bold and brash as Mad Mel and say all the troubles of the World are caused by the Jews--and trust me, she wants to. No, monkey see, monkey do. Obama talks out against technology and electronics, so let's just blame all of our troubles on the iPad.

Steve Jobs and Hitler, like peas in a pod...an iPod.

Let's face it, anything those people could get their hands on to make a buck would go to funding a dictatorial regime to oppress the people. So it's tungsten and tantalum today, but when the market falls through that, you know they're going to do whatever they can to keep it going--even bottle water.

MmmMmm. Good ol' CongoWater. It tastes just like wholesale rape and murder. Every Hollywood Celebrity will have a bottle in their hands on the red carpet within a week, but don't worry, I'm sure they'll leave the iPhones at home.