El Jesucristo es Mi Copiloto

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A Mexican singer and former drug-addict-turned-Protestant-Priest hijacked a plane in Cancun yesterday. Jose Mar Flores Pereira, 44, claimed he was just doing the Lord's work, after he had a revelation. From the pictures, I would think his revelation should be a career change as a Liberace impersonator, but much to the chagrin of the Mexican Authorities, this was not the case.

While Flores Pereira acted alone, Mexican officials said they originally detained five other people because the hijacker had told a flight attendants he was acting with accomplices, referring to himself and "God and the Holy Spirit."

Flores Pereira told authorities he acted to protect the country after having "a revelation that Mexico was facing a great danger, and was threatened by an earthquake," public security official Genaro Garcia Luna told reporters.

The priest, brought out for questioning by the media, told reporters his actions were linked to Wednesday's date -- September 9, 2009 -- because the numbers 9/9/9 were the opposite of 6/6/6 the numbers associated with the AntiChrist.

The movie documenting Flores Pereira's revenge on God and the Holy Spirit for leaving him holding the bag at the heist is due out next Summer. Don't bother trying to see it in the theaters, it's already sold out indefinitely, and I just gave them the idea two minutes ago.

All the passengers -- most of whom had no idea they had been taken hostage -- were safely evacuated as security forces swarmed Mexico's international airport within minutes of the plane landing.

The airline said it was originally alerted to the situation after it "received a bomb threat while in flight," according to a statement.

"It wasn't a bomb," a smiling Flores Pereira told reporters after his arrest. "It was three Jumex (juice) cans that I filled with sand and put some little colored lights on."

Finally, a crime involving juice that OJ Simpson can truly say he's innocent of. For someone who had a revelation from God of impending doom, and was then sent forth on a mission to save all of Mexico, this guy didn't really do a lot of planning. He had time to fill three juice cans up with sand and glue lights to them, but he didn't have time to call in his bomb threat until after he was on the plane? No wonder no one on the plane knew he was hijacking it.

When you absolutely, positively have to hijack that plane...Jumex.

Flores Pereira had demanded to fly over the airport "seven times" and to speak with President Felipe Calderon, Garcia Luna said. Calderon canceled his afternoon meetings to head to the sprawling airport.

The alleged hijacker was also said to be a former prisoner and drug addict from Bolivia, who has lived in Mexico for 17 years.

Sources in La Paz confirmed Flores Pereira was of Bolivian nationality, and recounted that Mexican authorities had said he "apparently suffers some sort of mental disorder."

And that's how you avoid being the laughing stock of the World. I just want everyone to be aware, not only is he insane, he's Bolivian--NOT MEXICAN! Now that we've cleared that up, go get me some Jumex, Pepito. Gracias.

The Craigslist Killer Strikes Again!

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I know there are some out there who would consider this no laughing matter. To those people, I politely say: Lighten up. It would appear that the latest victim of the renown Craigslist Killer is none other than Legal Prostitution. According to the above article, through an oversight of the Rhode Island legislation, they created a loophole in a law which allowed the legal exercise of prostitution with the singular stipulation that it be done indoors.

All forms of prostitution were illegal in the state until 1980, when legislators -- while amending the existing law to speed up prosecution -- inadvertently deleted the section that addressed the actual act of prostitution. The result was that the only thing that remained illegal was street solicitation, since police mostly use anti-loitering laws to arrest streetwalkers.

This legal loophole went unnoticed and police weren't thwarted until 2003, when Providence lawyer Michael Kiselica was representing sex workers in a case before the state district court here. He acknowledged to a Providence city prosecutor that the women had offered sex for money to undercover police but asserted no state law was broken. The case was dismissed.

Kudos to Mikey and shame-shame on RI legislators. At this time, I would like to slowly enjoy this moment as I point out the irony of the situation. The legislators were amending a law to allow them to rush prosecutions on prostitutes and ended up rushing the amendment instead, overlooking a major line of verbiage, which then allowed for the legalization of prostitution.

It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man with the white out!!!

Somehow I get this vision in my mind of a man standing on a beach with an umbrella. He looks up to the sky, opens the umbrella, and lifts it over his head. Then the Tsunami hits.

State legislators have tried to restore the law for years, but fell short in the face of opposition by some lawmakers, civil libertarians and academics, who said that allowing the arrest of prostitutes could end up punishing victims of human trafficking.

This year, however, momentum to change the law has grown. Bills have passed both the Rhode Island House and Senate, and the two bodies are now meeting to craft a common piece of legislation to send to the governor.

The new momentum is partly a response to the so-called Craigslist killing. Medical student Philip Markoff was indicted in Massachusetts in June on charges of killing a woman at an upscale Boston hotel who had advertised on the "exotic services" section of Craigslist. Rhode Island officials also charged Mr. Markoff with assault and intent to commit robbery of a stripper he had arranged to meet at a hotel in the state.

It always perplexes me how we can't ever make a stance on something and make a change because something is wrong; we always have to use something that's virtually unrelated to make our point stick.

Oldest profession or not, prostitution is immoral and wrong. You can argue all day long about how it's going to happen no matter what, so why not legalize it and then bring out the grocery list of things that legalization will stop. It makes no difference. If it's wrong, we shouldn't be advocating the benefits of legalizing it, we should make a conscious effort to stamp it out. Instead our politicians, city officials, judges, and law enforcement let prostitutes walk in exchange for free service.

So now we're going to grasp at straws and try to use an unfortunate set of events that has no real correlation to fix the law we broke. How politicized and bureaucratized is our system that we can't just fix a simple mistake like this without an act of God or Congress?

Mr. Markoff has pleaded not guilty to the Massachusetts charges and has not yet appeared in Rhode Island to answer charges there. His attorney did not immediately respond Friday to a phone message seeking comment.

At this point in the article, we would like to make a brief, obligatory announcement that we have no juevos and don't want to get sued, so we're not going to say that the guy, who we know is completely guilty, is in fact guilty (HE'S GUILTY!!!). Just to repeat, he said he was not guilty, and as far as this newspaper is concerned, that's good enough for us (HE'S GUILTY!!!). Thank you for your understanding in this matter (HE'S GUILTY, I SAY, GUILTY!!!).

Opponents of the change argue that indoor prostitution is safer for women, among other things. Tara Hurley, a Rhode Island filmmaker who did a documentary on sex workers, this summer organized prostitutes who are opposed to the law change to testify at the State House. A reporter accompanied her on Thursday to a Providence spa that she says offers sex. The spa was on the second floor of a mostly vacant office building.

After ringing a buzzer, guests were admitted by an older woman. Ms. Hurley said most spas have an "Imo," the Korean word for aunt, who cooks and cleans. In a den, off a dimly lit hallway, another woman who said she was an employee sat on a couch in pajamas, munching popcorn and watching a Korean movie.

The woman, who declined to give her name, said she is 41 and that she works at the spa for the money, some of which she sends back to her native Korea to help her family. She said she hopes the state law is not changed. "Nobody likes this work, but they are taking care of their families," she said.

Okay, they pulled out the, "I didn't know how much badder things were for these bad people until I made a movie about them and then it, like, changed my sociopolitcal views on the subject cause, like, just fifteen minutes of filming anything and you just, like, understand all of this...stuff about things." defense. That changes everything. They should have said this at the beginning of the article, then I would have avoided all of those paragraphs of using my brain and judging the situation for the bumbling mistake it was. Sheesh. These people need to take a Journalism class or something. Oh, and like, think of the children. Whoa...I think I just blew my mind!

Among those fighting the brothels are nearby businesses. In Middletown, R.I., near Newport, a local toy store relocated 40 minutes away in August after the owners grew frustrated with doing business near what they believed was a brothel.

Eric and Hema Bulmer, owners of Pow! Science! said when they stopped by their store at night, they would see the spa's neon "open" sign lit and cars parked outside. During the day, men occasionally walked into the store and noticed that Mrs. Bulmer, who is a Nepalese immigrant, was a petite Asian woman. They immediately assumed the toy store was a front for a brothel, Mrs. Bulmer said.

"Guys look at you and think, this must be it," Mrs. Bulmer said, calling the unwanted attention "humiliating."

Now I don't know about you, but that's a Creep Factor of about 2,025. If I were them, I'd switch over to a Basque Restaurant just to be on the safe side. Who knows how long it will take them to get the legislative spackle out and fix this one?

The State of the Unions

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CINCINNATI (AP) - President Barack Obama declared Monday that modern benefits like paid leave, minimum wage and Social Security "all bear the union label," as he appealed to unions to help him win the health care fight in Congress.

"It was labor that helped build the largest middle class in history. So, even if you're not a union member, every American owes something to America's labor movement," said Obama, whose run for the presidency was energized in no small part by unions.

Obama asserted that "our recovery plan is working," but repeated that he won't be satisfied until jobs are much more plentiful.

It was only a matter of time. His Health Care coup has failed miserably, and he's on the verge of losing everything. Just like Bill Clinton, who fell on his sword trying to pass a similar socialized medicine bill, Barack Obama has shown not only incompetency in his first nine months in office, but also the inability to learn from history. So now, in complete desperation, King Barack finally shows his hand. He has pled to The Unions, of whom he is deep in their pockets.

It was no surprise when we learned that SEIU-COPE-PAC paid $13,355,389.00 to his campaign fund. Their relationship was well documented on King Barack's own website:

"SEIU's members are temperamentally suited to Obama; he is a longtime friend of Chicago's SEIU Local 880 and worked closely with the union as an organizer and later as a state legislator."

There is also a connection between SEIU and ACORN. Which is no wonder considering Wade Rathke, was the founder and chief organizer of both ACORN and the SEIU local 100 in New Orleans. Is it really any wonder why he would be rallying to the SEIU and the United Healthcare Workers Union to help him strong-arm support from Americans for his Health Care Bill?

Yes, we can!

"We have never been this close," Obama said. "We have never had this broad an agreement on what needs to be done." He accused vested interests of trying to thwart it.

For their part, some elements within the labor movement have indicated frustration with Obama, who traveled to Cincinnati to speak to a state AFL-CIO gathering, because some key items such as legislation making it easier for people to join unions has languished in Congress. To vigorous cheers, Obama made a pitch for the bill in his speech. He also noted that the first bill he signed into law was one guaranteeing equal pay for equal work.

Considering his socialist politics, it really is no shock to see that he is a puppet for the Unions. Unions, afterall, are a socialist principle:

"...The need of having unions to improve the immediate situation of the workers and the advantages which grow out of these need not be examined. But the goal of the working class is the complete extermination of capitalism."

"...The object of the labor movement is to increase the strength of the proletariat to the point at which it can conquer the organized force of the bourgeoisie and thus establish its own supremacy. The power of the working class rests, in the first place, upon its members and upon the important role which it plays in the process of production. It constitutes an increasingly large majority of the population. Production proceeds upon a constantly increasing scale, and so is carried on more and more by wage-workers; and the relations of its branches grows constantly more complex. Under these circumstances workingmen find it possible through the strike to bring our whole social life to a standstill."

Everything Obama has done since he has been in office has been to cater to and benefit the Unions. The bailout of the Auto Industry, which heavily benefited and completely catered to the United Auto Workers Union, the second Stimulus Package, which had all kinds of pork and Easter eggs for the Unions, and now his Health Care Bill. I just can't wait for Cap and Trade, can you?

"The more the great body of workers take part in the war on capitalism, the more will labor union conflicts become social cataclysms, great political events; and thus the unions will be forced to take part in the political struggle. In these great struggles the old methods of parliamentary and labor union diplomacy will be found inadequate; the cleverness of sharp leaders and versatile spokesmen will be overshadowed by the power of the masses themselves. In the persons of the leaders, who develop according to the particular demands of each form of action, the political and union movements are different; in the persons who constitute the masses behind the leaders they are identical. Thus where the mass of the workers themselves come into action the dividing line between the two methods of struggle disappears; they march upon the field of battle to a single, undivided warfare against capitalism, armed with the class-consciousness, the discipline, the intelligence and the power of action gained in all previous conflicts; the union constitutes their organization; Socialism, their political intelligence."

It warms the cockles. I wonder how long it will be before he creates an Executive Branch Union? Of course, it will be in his Union Contract that he can't be replaced unless by unanimous decision of the members of the EBU. All Hail King Barack! All Hail the USSA!

White House, White Noise.

I, like many Americans, can remember what it was like watching George W. Bush making addresses and speeches. Although he tried very hard, it was obvious he was no orator. I remember sitting, watching him speak, and flinching as he butchered the English Language, almost as bad as Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Cal-ee-four-nee-uh". I now kick myself for every time I flinched. I would gladly take it all again, and in copious amounts, than one more second of the self-aggrandizing prattle inflicted upon us by President Obama.

It seems like nowadays, you can't even visit the lavatory without having to hear the consistent white noise in the background of Obama. He's addicted to press coverage. You can't go ten minutes without hearing Obama's voice. It's like some Poe-esque nightmare.

"In the silence of the night,
How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!
For every sound that floats
From the rust within their throats
Is a groan.
And the people -ah, the people -
They that dwell up in the steeple,
All alone,
And who tolling, tolling, tolling,
In that muffled monotone,
Feel a glory in so rolling
On the human heart a stone -
They are neither man nor woman -
They are neither brute nor human -
They are Ghouls:
And their king it is who tolls;
And he rolls, rolls, rolls,
Rolls" -- Edgar Allan Poe - The Bells

He's the political equivalent of a two-year old tugging on your shirt saying, "...and you know what? And you know what? And you know what? Mommy...mommy...mommy... And you know what?" It makes me want to scream, but I've resigned myself to blogging instead.

The moaning, and the groaning, and the droning, and the pwning...

Coming from a man and his administration who are bashing Bush's policies on torture, I would think he wouldn't want to employ one of the most common methods used: Repetitive Noise. I guess it depends on which side of the fence you are sitting as to whether it is ironic or appropriate that it's being used on the American Public. Especially considering we've recently been labeled terrorists for opposing The Government Health Care Plan. (I hope you noticed I did not refer to it as The Obama Health Care Plan, I figure since he didn't write it and he hasn't read it, he really deserves no credit.)

Every time his polls start to decline, he hits the airwaves in a filibuster of propaganda trying to stave off the drop in his approval rating. Creating sound-bite after sound-bite without anything new to say. Seriously, we've heard all the propaganda before, Barack. We all remember Axis Sally, Tokyo Rose, and Hanoi Hannah.

Americans are xenophobic, they will believe their own people rather than the adversary, even a friendly enemy voice. --Hanoi Hannah

I remember right after he won the Election. I was talking to my father, and I told him about a friend of mine who had stopped watching the news altogether, because he couldn't bear to hear or see one more second of the Obama hype that had assaulted the media and airwaves. (Little did he know, he was about to get sentenced to four years of hard time.) My father's reply to this was, "Just wait until he takes office." (Little did I know, Nostradamus had nothing on my father.)

Our only ray of hope in all of this, lies in the fact that everything he has to say is fed to him from the guy behind the teleprompter. Maybe, if we're lucky, he'll develop carpal tunnel syndrome.

Have a Cigar!

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Two of the bigger stories going through the Press recently are the growing momentum of The United States' recent interest in repairing relations with Cuba, and the impending revocation of aid to Honduras, which became a reality today. So it looks like we'll now be smoking Cuban cigars instead of Hondurans. It's a shame too, I really liked those Sancho Panza Double Maduros.

I can understand the glee The Obama Administration has for both really, because since we are now a fledgling socialist country, we need friends like Cuba. I can also understand our stance on Honduras:

The U.S. government joined the rest of the hemisphere in condemning Zelaya's ouster in June and supporting a deal proposed by Costa Rican President Oscar Arias that would restore Zelaya with limited powers.

But Honduras's de facto government, led by Roberto Micheletti, has rejected any return for Zelaya. The Micheletti government insists the removal of the president was legal because he had scheduled a public referendum on rewriting the constitution, in defiance of an order by the Supreme Court. Many Hondurans feared that Zelaya, an ally of left-wing Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, was trying to engineer a second consecutive term despite a one-term constitutional limit.

Naturally, we would favor Zelaya, since he's friends with another left-wing socialist, Hugo Chavez, who many in The Obama Administration continually drop sound-bites of admiration for. You also can't really blame Zelaya, hijacking the system to keep control is nothing American Democrats wouldn't have done, look at Ted Kennedy:

A cancer-stricken US senator Ted Kennedy has asked Massachusetts leaders to change state law to allow a speedy replacement if it becomes necessary for him to surrender his seat, fearing a months-long vacancy would deny Democrats a crucial vote on Barack Obama's healthcare overhaul.

The note has been sent to Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick and the state's senate president and house speaker at a time when Congress is considering an overhaul of the US healthcare system, a life cause of Kennedy's.

The letter acknowledges the state changed its succession law in 2004 to require a special election within five months to fill any vacancy. At the time, legislative Democrats were concerned then-Republican governor Mitt Romney would be able to fill any vacancy created as Democratic US senator John Kerry ran for president.

Let's not overlook the new big thing Obama has pulled right out of the Hugo Chavez Playbook:

At 12:00 p.m., Eastern Time (ET), September 8, 2009, President Barack Obama will deliver a national address to the students of America. (Please note that this is a change from the originally scheduled time.) During this special address, the president will speak directly to the nation’s children and youth about persisting and succeeding in school. The president will challenge students to work hard, set educational goals, and take responsibility for their learning.

So this is his next step? He couldn't get the Clergy to hock his failed Health Care Plan, so now he's going after our children?

Tell Mommy and Daddy to back my Health Care Plan, Little Timmy,

and I'll give you this nice, new shiny iPod the Queen of England didn't want.

Obama can't sell his Socialism to us, so now he's going to indoctrinate the next generation. I'm sure he got that one from all of those late night conversations with Bill Ayers. Oh, but I'm sure that's just a baseless cheap shot. Obama is just being a good American President. I should go drink my kool-aid and stop being such a racist. Mmmm...cherry...

Liberty, Equality, and Brotherhood.

The Enlightenment or Age of Enlightenment was the Big Bang of Humanity. It was the point where Society woke up and smelled the cosmos. What began with French Philosophers and spread throughout Europe was culminated in The American Revolution. We as Americans owe a lot to our French brothers. They paved the way to our eventual way of life.

Our Founding Fathers were all students of The Enlightenment, and as is often done in this country, they took it and made it better. What the French had bore and pioneered, men like Thomas Jefferson cultivated and made perfect. It is no surprise that the tide of the American Revolution was turned by the aid of the French. It is also no surprise that a French Revolution followed.

Throughout the history of this nation, our leaders have cultivated, nurtured, and grown the tenets of Liberty, Freedom, and Independence. They have held the torch of Democracy high and have set the example to the World. When our Founding Fathers declared that all men were created equal and had the inalienable right to freedom, they also knew that such an idea could not be contained or aggregated for personal consumption. The ideals of Liberty and Independence know no limitations and no borders.

John F. Kennedy said, "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty." He also called upon the public to assist in "a struggle against the common enemies of man: tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself."

Today, these ideals live and breathe as if they were a sentient being. They have held the test of time, and they have spread throughout the World. On September, 11th 2001, The United States of America experienced a small taste of what another member of the Brotherhood of Liberty and Equality has had to endure for decades.

On May 14th, 1948, after enduring the genocide of The Holocaust and a recent civil war perpetrated on them by the Palestinians, the Jews of the United Nations partitioned State of Palestine, ran out the Palestinian aggressors and declared their independence from the British Mandate of Palestine. They have been in war and conflict ever since.

They are a bastion of Democracy, a satellite of Liberty and Freedom, in the midst of a sea of dictatorial oppression. They are a mirrored reflection of everything America and Democracy stands for, and they are our ally. During the commencement of the Iraq War, it was said that we were going to, "bring Democracy to the Middle East," to which I replied, "What is Israel?"

For too many years, the Israelis have been plagued by terrorists and an antisemitic worldview, which has been compounded by US Politicians trying to make a name or legacy for themselves through imposing a peace with their mortal enemies by making them give up the very land they have cultivated and fertilized with the blood of patriots.

What gives us the right to tell them they have to give their land away?

The US is trying to build relations with Cuba right now, to end the conflict between us and begin anew. What if Cuba demanded we give them the State of Florida in exchange for peace? What if the UN thought that was a great idea and told us we had to give Florida to Cuba and kiss and make up? How would we react to that?

Now, condense the USA to the size of Delaware, and that doesn't even come close to what we ask of Israel.

There will never be peace in the Middle East. They have been fighting since practically the dawn of time. That doesn't just end because some slick politician decides he wants to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Yet, in a World where we are fighting Terrorism and the tactics of vile cowards, we expect for an ally, a member of the Brotherhood of Liberty and Equality, to acquiesce to them so we can all enjoy a good photo op.

I submit that if the Israelis do not deserve Israel, if they have indeed stole it from the Palestinians as many in the World believe, then Americans do not deserve America. The Israelis have done no more than we have; they took a country with great potential, ran the rabble off, and turned it into a great nation. If they cannot turn to us for help, if they cannot depend on us to be the nation that bore the Kennedy Doctrine, where is there hope or a future for Democracy?

Duck and Cough Into Your Sleeve

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I grew up in a small town. Population (approx.) 1200. As I look back on it, I had a good childhood, but I can't deny that I hated it to an extent. I never liked being a child. I always had a thirst for knowledge and experience, which being a child tends to stifle. Although I was given every opportunity to be a child and enjoy my childhood, I discarded it and did everything I could to move beyond it at a brisk pace.

At an age when most people are still naive and innocent, I was neither. That's not to say I did things I wasn't supposed to, but I knew about them. I knew about the things people do behind closed doors and in dark alleys, because I made sure I knew about them. Because of this approach, I spared myself from a lot of ugly moments in my life.

There are reflective moments which come and go where I sometimes wish I were more innocent than I am today. Things happen and I think to myself, "I wish the first thing I thought of when I saw that, was not what I'm thinking." However, one of the most important things I've learned from life, is that naïveté and innocence go hand in hand. You can't really have one without the other. Because of this, when I am in those reflective moments, I politely wave to them and stomp on the gas. I would not take a single ounce of naïveté for ten gallons of innocence.

Naïveté is what leads to taking the candy from the stranger and getting into the van. As we've seen here recently with Jaycee Dugard, it doesn't pay. As we've seen with millions of cases, and with the continuing hundreds of thousands of people who go missing every year. Yet, this is only one area where it can lead you.

Is there room in there for two?

In the 50's and 60's, millions of Americans were literally told that if they hid under their desks, or even more shockingly--a newspaper, they could protect themselves from the carnage of an atomic bomb. This was a doctrine which was propagated even into the 80's. Astonishingly, people actually trusted their government enough, they believed it.

Today, as our government lies to us about their level of preparedness for H1N1, and more to the point, their level of knowledge as to what it even is or how it works, we can hear the gears grinding into motion as yet another "Duck and Cover" type of propaganda campaign begins.

This time, we'll be washing our hands a lot, coughing into our sleeves, and staying home from work when we are ill to prevent attaining and spreading the deadly virus. This is told to us by our ever trustworthy Federal Government who is doing "everything possible" to prepare for an outbreak. I don't know about you, but I've already started stockpiling long-sleeve shirts in anticipation. Don't judge me people, I'm just doing my part.

The two deadliest enemies to the ways of the World are Knowledge and Common Sense. They are your sword and shield. It is time for us to arm ourselves and start slaying the dragons.