Living in America, if my name was Muntazer, I'd probably change it. Of course, I'd probably change my name if it was Lance too, but that's something for another blog. However, one thing is for sure, if my name was Muntazer al-Zaidi and I lived in Iraq, I'd go out and immediately get a t-shirt that read: I'm Muntazer al-Zaidi.
Muntazer al-Zaidi will come home to a hero's welcome tomorrow when he is released from prison. He will be coming home to his many fans, some who have also offered him tribute:
• The Emir of Qatar has pledged a golden statue of a horse.
• An organization headed by the daughter of Colonel Gaddafi of Libya awarded him a medal.
• An Iraqi living in Morocco has offered the hand of his daughter and women from across the Arab world rang his newspaper asking to marry him.
• His company has bought him a new house.
• Businessmen have offered to pool together to buy him a sports car.
• He has been offered jobs by several Arab television networks.
• A Saudi businessman offered to buy one of his infamous shoes for $10 million, but they were instead tested for explosives by the US military and then burned.
Women want him, men want to be him.
That's what it means to be The Muntazer.
Zaidi, who is a journalist for al-Baghdadiya, had mostly made a reputation from reporting on the deaths and injuries caused by American forces' raids. However, it was another kind of reporting which landed him as a household name around the World.
Zaidi catapulted into the international spotlight when he stood up in the middle of a press conference being given in December in Baghdad by President Bush and the Iraqi prime minister, Nouri al-Maliki.
"It is the farewell kiss, you dog," he shouted before hurling the first shoe. "This is for the widows and orphans of Iraq," he went on, as he threw the second.
He was sentenced to three years in prison for assaulting a foreign head of state, later reduced to one year. He has served nine months, with time off for good behaviour.
Now, I had once thought only horses throw shoes, but apparently irrate journalists do as well. It was never confirmed if The Shoe Heard Round The World was Gucci or Prada, but one thing is for certain--Muntazer was fast, but ol' GW was faster. Which gets me to my real point here. Although the World thinks Muntazer is on some deity status for throwing shoes at George W. Bush, I say he's a loser because he missed. Twice.
Is this the World we live in now? This guy is being treated like he's the shoe-thowing second coming of Roger Clemens, and he missed! Way to aim high, people! Seriously, if you're going to throw shoes at someone, especially The President of the United States, wouldn't you put some stank on it so he can't get away from it? I realize Texans are spry, but come on.
Then there's the fact that he threw shoes. To quote Austin Powers, "Who throws a shoe?!?!" I realize that in Arab culture, it means something to hit someone with the bottom of your shoe. I get it. To this I say, "Find a new insult."
How stupid are you, that you go into a press conference with The President of the United States, take your shoes off, and throw them at him? What exactly was your exit plan? You weren't going to get far without your shoes!
Although it would have been really cool to have seen GW pull a sixgun and start blasting, I was still proud of him that day, if for no other reason than he proved what an agile SOB he is. Dude has game.
Finally, it's hard for me to find a moral in all of this. I can't decide whether I should be telling Muntazer to just scream, "You lie!" next time, or if I should be telling Senator Joe Wilson to just throw shoes next time. I guess it must be true what Liberals tell me, it's not always black and white.
